for the free spirited

Floating without destination on my back, held in the cold embrace of the water

Swinging out over the water, stepping onto the swing from higher than I ever had before, smiling in silent joy at the rush of air on my face and through my hair.

Sitting on the bench leaning against the picnic table loving what was before me – nature

Thoughts.

We’ve just been through a lot together and I think it’s silly to just be like “welp, bye!”

Natures calling to me, ‘but stay! … stay awhile’

And so I do… watching swallows pick bugs off the surface of the water

“Thank you for being my friend” I had said to him… and after an exclamation of some sort he replied

“It’s a fucking privilege for these bitches to be my friends, is what you should be thinking”

‘Oh no[!], no, don’t do that’ … the first sympathetic tone I’ve heard from him… at least in awhile. And what was it I was sharing that he was saying that to? I cannot for the life of me remember. ‘Twas something sad, certainly… but what exactly? Who knows. Why try and conjure up a remembrance of limitations?

There’s a certain sort of poetry to being alone… once you’ve learned that you don’t have to be

But even then, I hold, that choice is more than we give it credit for and even if you haven’t discovered your value as a companion to others, you can still find joy in yourself.

I’ll still always remember the way you’d ride up on the 4-wheeler when I was a work… or the times you or I or both would climb over the wire orchard fence…

It’s evening now, I’m not sitting by the swing anymore. The above is unedited and likely to be confusing. much of it is thoughts about or recalling something said by or things I would say to a person.

I’m discovering

Bit by bit

What it is to be alive. What it is to be free. What it is to be limitless, unrestrained, independent, capable, strong.

You have to let go… sometimes of things you don’t want to let go of… to find it