for the free spirited

a new space. a new world to explore.

Welcome my friend. i am immensely pleased and grateful that you are here! i hope you will feel my love and that you will find some light, laughter, joy, or encouragement in our time together.

alright. let’s get you caught up.

8/4/2022

I had a stroke of revelation yesterday.

What if I, instead of starting a youtube channel – as I’d been struggling with myself for months to do – started a blog? I already write prolifically enough.

What a thought.

As so without further ado… here I am. This is me. There’s nowhere else on earth I’d rather be.

But see here’s the thing. Why the heck would I start a blog? Who the heck would read it? What would be the point and purpose, me rambling around, opening myself to the eyes of the world and the possibility of becoming known and criticized or known and loved or just .. known? What if i put it out there and no one reads it? What if they do!! What if I waste people’s time? And what if it’s all just a waste of mine?

But… if i say all that, I also have to ask… what if I was made for you \ and you were made for me \ what if this is it \ what if it was meant to be. And obviously I don’t mean that in the way Kane Brown meant it. But same idea.

this is for the free spirited. like me.

Ugh okay but SERIOUSLY what value do I have to offer the world?? I don’t know! And I’ll never know until I try. So that’s that and that’s why I’m here, so stop second guessing yourself, love.

Somehow suffering seems so much more glorious if you can share it. If it’s part of a journey that others are also witnessing with you.

Have you ever put just way too much seasoning on way too little rice

Have you ever paced back and forth in the confines of a single room because… because youre unsure of yourself?

Have you ever found yourself shaking in the morning because you ‘lost your appetite’ because you realized that very morning that you might have social anxiety? Okay but is it that, or is it something else entirely? Is it the combination of… all the things…

8/6/2022

Today I’m wondering how to build a blog website.

It seems more complicated than YouTube. What a silly trick of fate,

that is should be easier (for me at my current point of development anyway) to create content for a blog but have to build a website in order to do that, whereas i already have a youtube channel ready to publish on, but have no content.

8/7/2022

This afternoon I found myself up in a tree. A mere matter of a few yards from where my best friend had his first legal drink. And even closer to where we had our first and last night together under the stars, his arm around me. I had been laying in the hammock, his hammock, that he’d put there the first time we found the place and built the fire ring together.

The top of my left foot is bruised and sore unlike ever before. A combination of climbing the rope and driving the 4-wheeler by myself for the first time. All barefoot of course.

But I lay in the hammock, looking up at the old oak, and being certain I was going to climb it. And so I did. It very hospitably offered sufficient hand and foot holds to get me to the perch I saw that had pulled me so certainly towards it.

I’m finally free. Or I’ve reached a new level at least. I’m sure it won’t be peaches and cream from here on out, but… I’m free.

free.

freedom.

just like that eagle cry

Today I bought a wordpress website and am in the midst of setting up my blog. Wow. For the first time in my life (or it feels so at least)… I acted on something. something bigger than myself and scary and important.

…How that came about is ‘hallmark questionmark’ worthy in and of itself.

8/8/2022

My blog site is obtained!!

… Now to start publishing.

I feel as though I ought to have some brilliantly crafted introduction for my first post…

But wouldn’t that be against the very nature of what I intend this to be?

Oh… I have an intention?

Yes! To be REAL!! To let pieces of my writing fall like the raw unpolished marble being carved away from a great work of art.

And, to see, if somehow, by some miracle, through the raw poeticisms of my soul, I can be an influence for good in this world.

already this is far too long, or rather, longer than i intend my posts to be from here on out. but i had to catch you up to today.

and now we’re here!

and boy am i so excited:D

I’M HERE!!! I’M FINALLY HERE!!

about to live and share with gleeful abandon and embark on this, my next grand adventure.